Melissa Zarate

Hello again, Inside Out!

This is Melissa Zarate, and I participated in Inside Out during 7th and 8th grade and again as a mentor in the 9th grade. I attended Nightingale Middle School and graduated in 2001.

I can’t express my admiration and gratitude enough on behalf of this wonderful program some clever and kind people have woven for people like me. The faces are starting to re-emerge in my mind now and the warmth from these memories is making me smile as I write. Because even if we hadn’t gone to camp, even if I had not won the talent competition, even if we didn’t even have a stage or an audience, those faces are my fondest memories. Any help I needed, my wonderful, amazing, brilliant, teachers at Inside Out personalized themselves to me and made themselves available during a time when I was so self-conscious and lonely. They saw in me what I didn’t see in myself. This is why everything I have taken from Inside Out, I remember and with gratitude.

With regards to the question “how did you change?” I couldn’t answer that completely if I had my whole lifetime to explain it. Inside Out gave me, if nothing else, a release. It gave me the opportunity to assert all the creativity I had in me which I could only previously express in writing because, honestly, who listens to you at home?! Who do you have, when you’re twelve years old and you have an idea and you have no one to teach you how to express it? (I’m the oldest sibling of 3, by the way; I’m the one making the example.) It’s like a melody you come up with in your head and you know people would like it and you know you’d win a freaking Grammy for it… But: you can’t read or pen musical notes on a piece of paper.

I’m proud to say I was part of this program, and that I was able to come back and give back at least a small percentage of what it gave me when I became a mentor. Unfortunately I was only able to return for one year. Academics, band practice, and eventually my own stint at theatre, took up a chunk of my time, and a growing girl can’t miss sleep. But Inside Out definitely gave me the tools I needed to keep myself busy in high school. Theatre became a huge part of my life. In 10th grade I co-founded my high school’s theatre program, the Better Angels (coined from a speech by Abraham Lincoln, also my alma mater.) And although I graduated and moved on and the Better Angels unfortunately returned to the abyss, I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without the theatre. I still make time to catch a show once in a while.

I am currently a student at Cal Poly Pomona, finally settled into a major (Hospitality Management) after a series of trial balloons under several others. I studied Theatre briefly at Cal Poly as well as foreign languages (I learned French in high school and German in college, and I know Spanish which is, by genetics, a given) before I decided that I actually would like to graduate and get the heck out of Pomona. I’m currently a supervisor at a Holiday Inn, and naturally a supervisor is the one working with the front-line employees, helping them, reminding them of the task at hand, encouraging, listening rather than speaking. I have Inside Out to thank for giving me courage and the voice to overcome the powerful shyness I had when I was little.

If life seemed difficult and angst-y and confusing when I was twelve, I sure miss it. Right now I’m currently taking on the important task of growing up, being a self-provider, and becoming part of the working world. If I had the time I would have given back more often, and do it wholeheartedly. People underestimate the power of company and openness. Why Inside Out has not expanded nationally baffles me. In this program, I have met some of the most wonderful people and learned valuable, sincere life lessons. Inside Out provided me with the companionship of wise and caring individuals who have encourage and advised me. And when you’re twelve, you need that just as much as you need sustenance and shelter. If I could sum it up in 3 words, it’d be the phrase: nurturing creativity & individuality (ampersands are not words! ☺)

Inside Out; from my heart, I thank you.

Melissa E. Zarate Inside Out Class of 2001